goneawaycomms | Agent South Dakota

[ It won't come easy to her, but she'll think. She's promised him, so she'll think.

She doesn't let go. Closes her eyes and just breathes, for a long minute, trying to compose herself a little, but it's tough. Tougher than usual. So she clings to her brother because he's there, and he listened, and he understood, this time. Mostly, anyway. ]

...stay— stay in our room like, once a week, maybe? Not if you don't want to, just...

[ She fights not to try and backpedal like her instinct is to do, but can't finish the sentence, either. ]

[ He allows her to cling, figuring it's healthy and cleansing, something she needs right now. ]

Absolutely. I will.

[ She deflates a little with a relief she'd never admit to. ]

Okay. Just gets so... s'just quiet, in there. Y'know.

[ Empty. Lonely. ]

[ He pulls back to look her in the eye. ]

You want more than one night a week? Because that's okay, Nat.

I'm not gonna keep you from fuckin' spending the nights with your boyfriend. I'm a big girl, Drew, I can handle it.

[ She thinks. Not her smoothest deflection. It wouldn't be so bad if most of her days weren't just as empty as the nights. ]

[ He tucks a lock of her hair back behind her ear. ]

You wouldn't be. He'll understand.

[ She gives him a little bit of a look at that, a 'you sure about that?', but doesn't put it in words.

She looks aside, for a second, teeth worrying at her lip. ]

Maybe a couple nights, I guess. But I mean it, I don't... you're lucky, you should get the time with him you can get. S'not like I'm going anywhere.

[ He chuckles softly. ]

All right. But him and me, we are together all the time anyway. I mean, that's how this whole thing came to fruition, right?

Right. I know. S'like I said, you spend more time with him than me these days and that's fine, before you think that's a cry for help too.

[ It's not sharp at all, just teasing.

It is fine. North's happy. He has York back and they're closer than ever and that's good. He got lucky. Sometimes, she just wishes she hadn't gotten so unlucky, herself. ]

[ He gives her a little punch on the shoulder, then pulls the rest of the way back and stands. His knees were starting to hurt. He goes and sits back down on the chair. ]

Well, we can have sleepovers whenever you feel you need one. It's all good.

Edited 2021-02-12 20:48 (UTC)

[ She snorts softly, teases again: ]

Demoted to sleepover status. You wound me.

[ She rubs at her face, all too conscious of the mess she looks after all the crying. ]

[ He laughs aloud. ]

Well, technically it's still my room, too.

[ She manages a proper smile at his laugh, kicks him in the shin. ]

Technically. Had it first and everything.

[ He kicks back, but not very effectually. ]

Makes it doubly mine. You better not trash it.

[ She snickers. ]

I'll try. No promises.

[ She flashes him a stupid grin that mellows out into a more subdued smile, and she offers him her hand. ]

All that... stuff, I said. I just want you to know it's... I don't hate you. There was a long while where everything they did made me think I did, I think, but... I don't. It's not that I don't wanna be fuckin' associated with you, I just...

I just wish people saw... me, sometimes. Not... me in relation to you. I don't know if that makes sense.

[ He takes it, holding it up, and giving it a squeeze. ]

I think I get it. It's like you're stuck being compared all the time, right? Like you're on a game show or something.

[ She squeezes right back, her posture much more relaxed than it was for a while there, tangible relief in her expression. ]

Yeah. Yeah, that's what it's like. And we're so different, and I'm so much more... difficult, I guess, that it's exhausting. Because all of what I am looks worse, next to you, y'know...?

[ She never thought she'd actually be talking about this with him. ]

People who don't know you think so. I know the truth, though—underneath that bitchy exterior is someone they'd really do well to get to know.

You're so biased, I hope you know that.

[ But she's grinning. Maybe being honest about how she feels isn't the end of the world. Not every time, anyway. ]

[ He grins. ]

Oh, incredibly.

Honestly, you have a habit...at least lately...of kind of, mm...holding people at arm's length? And I feel like you didn't used to.

Just gonna call me out like that, huh?

[ It sounds like a deflection, even behind her smile, but she sighs and decides to just... bite the bullet. ]

I guess. Things are just... weird, y'know? Everything fell apart and then we were on our own and then here is like... extra weird. Our teammates all hate me and I can't exactly blame them for that, and then everything else...

[ It started long before the rig, but they're back around people now. ]

[ He folds his hand tighter over hers. ]

Did you expect me to hate you?

[ He had never hated her, even when he first heard what she'd done. He couldn't find it in himself to hate her. ]

...kinda, yeah. I mean— y'know, considering.

[ The rough start didn't help, of course. ]

[ He looks down for a moment. ]

I understand. It was hard at first, being told what happened, but I never hated you. I want you to know that.

I know, Drew. Now, at least. I know.

[ She gives his hand a tight, tight squeeze. Despite everything, neither of them can find it in themselves to actually hate the other, and that's... that's a relief. ]

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