Agent South Dakota (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ownperson) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
goneawaycomms2020-12-11 05:40 pm
ownperson) wrote in goneawaycomms2020-12-11 05:40 pm
Entry tags:
Agent South Dakota
● Agent South Dakota
fucking bullshit
[video | audio | text]
● Agent South Dakota
fucking bullshit
[video | audio | text]
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I understand. It was hard at first, being told what happened, but I never hated you. I want you to know that.
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I know, Drew. Now, at least. I know.
[ She gives his hand a tight, tight squeeze. Despite everything, neither of them can find it in themselves to actually hate the other, and that's... that's a relief. ]
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Good. It's important that you know that.
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Well, now we both know. No matter what, we've always got each other.
[ And he has York, and the others, and she's all but alone. She squeezes again. ]
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[ He's happy to let her sit and hold his hand for as long as she needs to. He doesn't let go, just waits to see when she'll get her fill. ]
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[ She feels like she should be ready to build all of her walls back up. like she usually wants to, after showing even a fraction of what she has in this conversation. But for once, they stay down, and she just holds his hand for a long minute before finally letting go. ]
This is so fucking weird to say considering... everything, but I'm glad I ended up here. Just... just for this.
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[ That and his newly-minted relationship, but he's not going to mention that in this context. ]
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Yeah. Situation sucks but... being back here with you, not back there alone is... I'm glad. I really fuckin' am.
[ Another playful kick. ]
And you got extra fuckin' lucky. I got my brother back, yeah, then here's you, your sister and your best-friend-turned-boyfriend. As odds go, that's pretty good.
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I missed you, but I missed him, too. I'm glad it's all worked out the way it has.
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[ She snickers softly at the look on his face. ]
You're really making the best of it.
[ She's quiet, for a second, then starts to say: ]
Sometimes I wish... [ But she trails off, shakes her head. ]
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What do you wish?
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[ She bites the inside of her cheek, then sighs. ]
I don't know. I don't... I don't wish anyone here, because who the fuck would do that? Just, sometimes...
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[ He pauses. ]
You thinking of someone specific?
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[ She gives him a bit of a look, like 'come on', drags her hand over her face and sighs, but not an annoyed sigh. ]
You gonna make me say it?
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[ He looks off into the distance for a bit. ]
God, if I could do anything to save him from this existence, I would. But mostly only if I got to be there, too.
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Fuckin' hell, Drew, that's the sappiest possible way to say that.
[ Which she can't help but smile just a little at, despite it all.
And, fuck, he probably wasn't trying to reverse psychology her but... ]
...bet Connie'd tear this whole mess open in a couple months. If she really was what... brought it all down back home.
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He'd had a feeling he was talking about Connie. ]
She was. She was like the cog at the center of a big clockwork.
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All that time she was being so... cagey. Fuckin' pulling away from us all. I guess it's obvious, looking back, but...
[ She shakes her head. ]
Whatever. Like I said, no one else deserves to end up here. Even half saying it feels wrong. It's just everyone who is here...
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[ She snorts a laugh, despite herself, because of course he fills that with a much more selfless and optimistic sentiment than she was on the edge of. ]
I mean... yeah, you're kinda right, but also everyone here from home fuckin' hate my guts.
Except you. [ She smiles a little, teases: ] Way to show your bias again, by the way. Real favourable guess there.
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Sorry. I like to think it's true, at least.
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No, you... you are right. At least in some cases. I mean, we have. Back home, I don't think we'd ever have talked about... any of this.
[ And she's glad they have. The emotional drain is starting to set in, but she still feels... lighter, than she did before. ]
But I am also a selfish little shit who just... [ huff ] maybe I'm a little jealous, okay? You have York. I don't have that. I'm starting everything from scratch.
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[ If she's worried he's dissembling, she shouldn't—the look on his face is genuine. ]
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You have your best friend here! Even before you were dating him that's a step up on what I've got!
[ Not counting North himself, but she figures that's a given after everything they've said. ]
Is that really so fuckin' unbelievable?
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[ He shakes his head. ]
I just thought, with the comparison talk...
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