goneawaycomms | Agent South Dakota

South, please it's not that hard to not act disgusted with someone doing a nice thing. In fact it's the common response to say thank you, but York doesn't expect that. He doesn't expect all that much, and hopes by setting the bar low she'll surprise him eventually.

They get to the training area and York gestures for her to hit whatever she wants.

What she really wants to do is spar with someone, punch a punching bag, do some actual lifting... but she can't do any of that, so she huffs quietly and looks around for the next best thing.

Hm. If York's (ugh) here to spot, then maybe...

She jerks her head towards and then heads to the pull-up bars.

"Before you say anything, yes, I can do this one-handed." It might even up the strain enough for it to feel like a proper goddamn workout, make up for the time she's been missing.

"I never doubted it."

York follows her over, taking up a spotting position behind her as she grabs the bar.

"Hey D, start a log. I want to run down everybody I know on the rig."

Delta projects next to them and nods, starting a log as instructed and pointedly ignoring South's eye roll and groan that have nothing to do with the exertion and everything to do with remembering she has to listen to them talk.

She has no trouble getting started and yeah, she needed this. The burn as she gets into the rhythm of the exercise immediately takes the edge off her restlessness.

York and Delta discuss the various people they've encountered as South works out, and to his credit York is genuinely spotting her. When it seems like her hand is slipping at one point she'll feel York's hands by her waist to help her ease back down safely, then they drift away again just as easily, without acknowledgement.

He'll let her go as long as she wants, as promised.

She tenses up like she's been shocked at the contact, the help. Huffs, slightly, as she rolls her shoulders and, begrudging though it sounds, she musters enough politeness to actually say, "Thanks," before she pulls herself back up.

Him being nice is still weird, but it's hard to stay outright pissed at him when he's actually helping her get a workout in after goddamnn days of sitting around restless.

Sure, the inane chatter Delta and York seem to love so much is still a pain in the ass but it's easier to tune it out when she's actually doing something.

...she's not sure if this means York is winning or losing.

"No problem."

And then he's back to chattering with Delta. Some of the information might be useful to South if she's paying close attention, but York doesn't assume she is. Still, he keeps some of the details about Stacia quiet even though he'd normally tell D. Not having his AI to talk to about the mess with Wash is strange.

When South finally eases back down from the bar and stretches out the arm she was using, York can't help but sass a little.

"Don't skip leg day."

South catches names here and there, Stacia being one of them because even South hasn't been immune to Stacia, but most of it goes in one ear and out the other.

She rolls her eyes at the comment, though with marginally less annoyance compared to before her workout. Turns out South on an exercise drought is even more easily antagonised than usual, who'd've thought?

"You wanna fuckin' sit through me doing leg curls too? Money where your mouth is," she snarks back.

"I said I'd spot a full workout, whatever that means for you."

She could do squats hugging a barbell, he doesn't actually care. He's occupied talking to Delta anyway, whether South is working out or sitting in her room grumbling at him it's the same to York.

She shakes her head at him and mumbles, "This is so fuckin' weird..." as she moves to get herself set up for a leg workout, too. Weird as it is, she's not satisfied with stopping here so she won't. She has time to make up for.

She's already visibly more at ease than she was, despite York's continued presence and despite the constant background noise. It's almost a little more... familiar, more like just putting up with York back in the Project. Impossible as it is to forget why he's here, the ulterior motives behind the niceties, with Delta's puck an inconvenience around her neck, he's at least not going on about it directly. Yet.

After a few sets, as she takes a drink and catches her breath, she idly snarks, "You two really could make talking a fucking sport," just to feel like she's not laying down and letting him walk all over her. She still can't tell who's 'winning', here.

No one has to be 'winning' South. He genuinely isn't thinking of this as a tactic, he's just trying to be nicer because she's having a hard time that's partially his fault. Sure, he wants Delta back, but this isn't him trying to throw her off her game or whatever.

When she tossed the snarky comment at them, York just shrugs. It's pretty weak if it was meant to be an insult. Maybe all the exercise is cheering her up.

"We usually don't have to talk. It takes a lot longer communicating this way."

“It is much more efficient to communicate when we are properly integrated.”

She groans quietly. She opened herself up for that segue, she should not have opened her mouth. “Yeah yeah, I know. I have done brain talk before.”

She just finds it... weird. She’s never had Delta in long enough for it to come naturally and she hates how open it makes her thoughts to him.

She chugs some of her water, wipes her hair out of her face and starts another set, but doesn’t expect the line of conversation to die so easily, even if she hopes it does.

It does not die.

"There's brain talk when you're first implanted, then there's... I hadn't sent D offline for years. It felt like he was a part of my brain, processing things along with me. It's just different after you bond to an AI."

He tilts his head, wondering if that's what South just Doesn't Get about North and Theta.

"Did your brother never explain what it's like when you really let one in?"

South huffs quietly. "He probably did. Doesn't mean I fuckin' listened, though."

She almost sounds a little sheepish, about that. She didn't listen to most things North said about Theta, before; she's sort of trying, now, but it's not exactly the easiest topic of conversation for them, all things considered.

The word 'son' flashes in her mind again and she sighs.

York expresses an exorbitant amount of willpower not to roll his eyes at that.

"It could be different for him since all the fragments are different. Theta's kind of like a kid, he may not mesh on the same level Delta and I do."

"He sure fuckin' treats him same as a kid." Like his kid. God. Fuck. "I don't know how either of you can fuckin' do it. I had Theta for like two seconds that night and..."

She cuts herself off, shakes her head. Why is she even saying any of this? It's fucking York, she shouldn't be giving him ammo for his arguments that she should be handing Delta over. Even if it's true.

She can't imagine giving such open access to head innermost... everything, like that. Theta saw a snapshot and instantly blurted something private at the slightest outside provocation. Granted, it was Jorgmund provocation, but...

"...and what?"

It's true that if South doesn't like having an AI she shouldn't... have an AI. In York's opinion, anyway. But he isn't angling for that right now. He's genuinely curious what her experience was like.

"Because I don't think I could host Theta either. He felt wrong in my head."

She doesn't answer for a long moment, but she eventually stalls mid-rep and sighs. She can't believe she's answering this guy...

"You heard him, York. He blurted out private shit. He saw private shit. And that was in the like minute he was in my head, tops. Full-time..." She shakes her head.

It was no better with Delta when they were on the run. She never could take having him in for too long, with her head a minefield of private thoughts and grief.

"That's... kind of how it works. You can't hide anything from them. It took me awhile to get comfortable with it, too. But not everybody does and there's nothing wrong with that."

He thinks for a moment, then opts for honesty even if South doesn't want to hear it.

"As much as I hate the way the Project fucked with us all, they did pair us with our fragments for some reasons. Maybe it'd have been easier for you with one they chose specifically for you."

Her jaw flexes a little and she sighs, giving him a withering look. Despite that, she doesn't snap, or yell, just sounds almost... tired. "Well, we'd never have fucking found out, would we? You know, seeing as I was never going to get one."

It's not as if she hasn't thought about it. Command claimed they'd rate her for implantation if she did what they wanted, but she knows now that it was almost certainly just another lie. She probably always knew, if she were honest with herself.

But even then, she can't imagine how it'd be any different. They're just computer programs, right? It couldn't make that much difference overall, right?

"I know. I'm just saying."

York shrugs again, trying to resign himself to going back to spotting, but he can't. He's curious.

"Why do you still want one so badly? After everything."

South rolls her eyes and huffs a sigh, giving up entirely on the set she was part way through. She drags a hand through her hair and looks away from York, debating on just getting up and leaving, but she doesn't move.

"It's the fucking principle of the fucking thing," she says. "For fucking years I was strung along on the promise of a stupid AI. You think I'm the kind of person who just fuckin' gives up on something after that?"

What she doesn't say, what she may not even be able to say, is that giving up, after everything, turns everything she did to get here into even more of a mistake than it already was. Lying to North for so long, letting him die... it was all over these stupid AI, one way or another.

York is quiet for a long moment. That sounded honest. Maybe not the whole truth, but... a lot of it.

"No. But I don't think it's giving up. I think it's accepting that what they did to us was fucked. What they did to the Alpha was fucked. But it happened, it's done, and all we can do is pick up the pieces and try to find a way to be whole again."

He doesn't know if he ever will, without Delta, but he doesn't want to turn this into another play. This is just them, telling the truth.

South snorts quietly. "You say that like it's so easy."

She let her brother die and she has to not just live with that, but with the fact he knows. They may be okay, now, or trying to be, but she can't forget the look on his face when she explained what she did. That look ingrained her regret in her to the bone.

She rubs her face, wondering where the fuck all of this is coming from. Maybe she really should stop just telling North lies about socialising on the rig and actually do it, if she's talking like this to York she must be going stir crazy.

"It's not. But is it harder than giving up? Because giving up is definitely going to feel worse."

This may be the most personal conversation he's ever had with South, and he isn't even using it to his advantage. Goddamnit.

Agent South Dakota

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