goneawaycomms | Agent South Dakota

...I knew it would catch up with us eventually. But I didn't know when. Whenever it got someone else Command told me, but the attacks were all over the map. Last I heard before it found us, it was miles away.

[ She swallows. ]

I always thought that, when it came, maybe if we— I let it get what it wanted, then...

[ He wants to speak, wants to say, 'Premeditated, huh?', but he's no longer calm and his throat is closed. His adam's apple bobs up and down a couple of times and he trains his eyes on her hands.

The sound that comes out, eventually, is a questioning sort of grunt, encouraging her to continue. ]

Still caught me by surprise when it actually found us. Thought maybe we'd have longer, that Washington would've got some actual useful information on how to beat the damn thing by then that Command woulda passed on, but...

Nothing. There was fucking nothing.

[ Her fists ball in the sheets beside her. ]

I figured maybe you could hold you own long enough to stay alive and then I'd... come in after it had what it wanted and we could make it out together. So I ignored you calling for me. Waited.

But by the time I reached your position, the only way to stop it woulda been to throw myself at it and...

[ Her knuckles are white. She swallows again.

His life, or hers. ]

Edited 2021-01-14 16:39 (UTC)

[ He wants to get up and leave, pace the halls and talk to Theta and work this out in his head alone, but he promised her he wasn't going to do that. So he sits there, head partly bowed, hands gripping the edge of the mattress, in silence. She'll know the signs that he's fighting off tears; she's his sister, after all.

He feels betrayed. There's no other way to express it. He feels betrayed and deceived and let down. He wants to reconcile this eventually but right now he just wants some space. ]

[ South's throat tightens and she has to look away from him. Seeing him close to losing his composure is never easy, always strange. She wishes he'd just get angry, shout and scream at her, because that's simple. She knows how to deal with rage. She doesn't know how to deal with this.

For the first time in a long, long time, a part of her wants to hug him—but what good would that do? He'd push her away and he'd be right to. ]

So I... I just... [ She just watched. Stood there and watched the Meta finish North off, unable and unwilling to do a thing. The image is still burned into her mind. ] Then it... came for me. Knocked me out. Woke up after it had left and...

[ She trails off. There's no use in explaining the rest. ]

There. Now you know.

[ He nods tightly, glancing at her face ever-so-briefly before looking down again. Eventually, when he feels he can speak a bit, he replies: ]

Thank you for being honest with me.

[ By the time the sentence finishes he's speaking thickly and he swallows. ]

...I owe you that much.

[ Something she'd never admit outside this room. Even here, it comes out quiet, guarded, but despite everything, South's only human and he's her brother. Seeing him like this... ]

For what it's worth [ and it's not worth much ] you were never meant to... to die. It wasn't like Washington. I didn't...

[ She sighs. It isn't worth a thing. ]

Nevermind. You, uh. You can go. Or... I'll go. Whichever.

[ He shakes his head, still gripping the edge of the bed, then rises. ]

Need some time.

[ In other words, she's not cut off, he just needs a little space to process. He glances at her, just to make sure she's okay with him going and begins to walk out. ]

[ She doesn't stop him. She just sits there and watches him go, her fists balled tighter than ever in the bedsheets.

There's tears welling in her eyes by the time he's out the door. Angry and scared and ashamed and distressed all at once, she tries to focus on the anger, like she always focuses on the anger, but the tears come anyway.

All too aware of the lack of door, she shuts herself in their bunk's bathroom and lets it out where no one can see. ]

Agent South Dakota

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject