goneawaycomms

Dear Catra,

This is sort of a rewrite of a letter I never thought I'd get or want to send, but now we're here, so I guess I'm sending it.

You were my enemy and and for the longest time I thought that was it; that we always would be. Before that, I had hope that you'd see the light and realize that Etheria was a beautiful place that needed to be saved. But after everything, I finally realized that you weren't going to be coming around and that made me so incredibly sad, Catra.

I missed you and I always did.

I missed your smile and the way your eyes gleamed when you beat me in race during training. I missed laughing with you. I even missed your stupid snoring! I still do.

Those are the things I thought about when I thought about you, Catra, during the war. Because those were the good things and remembering all the bad things? That just hurt. I just wanted to remember the good about you.

I'm sorry things ended up the way they did. I'm sorry you got hurt. I'm sorry about everything. I still think I'd redo it the same way if we had to redo it all over again, though. I don't know what's going to happen next with us or what this place is going to mean. I don't know how this is going to effect us. But I guess we're stuck together and maybe I can start remembering good things about you again.

Love,

Adora

[ !!!! ]

[ LOVE???? ]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN LOVE????????

What? I mean love!

[ This is not the reaction she expected. She didn't expect to get anything, honestly. ]

you can't just write that you love me.

and that you miss all that stupid stuff about me

not after everything that happened!!!

what the ████ adora

Why not? It's true!

adora you're so STUPID i can't stand it

i missed you too, idiot

i missed you a LOT

you were the only person who cared about me!

Edited 2020-05-07 20:48 (UTC)

You kept trying to kill me and my friends!

And of course I cared about you, but you never acted like it after

after everything!

i LOVED YOU THE ENTIRE TIME you MORON

Edited 2020-05-07 20:54 (UTC)

What?

I LOVED YOU THE ENTIRE TIME YOU MORON!

Edited 2020-05-07 20:58 (UTC)

And now I'm STUCK here and I'm stuck here with YOU and I don't know what to do anymore! And then you had to go and makes things WEIRD

I was just trying to clear up how I felt! I thought you deserved to know!

You never acted like you cared after I left, not after that whole thing with the holograms and Light Hope! You acted like you hated me!

BECAUSE I DID HATE YOU!

I'm sorry.

I felt like i had to save everything and everyone. I saw how wonderful Etheria was outside of the Fright Zone and I couldn't just leave it. I had to pick that up and I had to be She-Ra because I was the only one who could.

Or I thought I was, anyway.

you're so stupid

Edited 2020-05-07 21:09 (UTC)

[ 📞 Voice call from CATRA

Accept Y/N ]

Edited 2020-05-07 21:15 (UTC)

[ Adora smacks the 'yes' button. ]

Hello?

You were the only person I ever cared about and the only person who cared about me! And then you turned around and rejected me! How was I supposed to feel? You were--you were always there and then you weren't and I didn't know what to do.

You were special! And I wasn't.

Edited 2020-05-07 21:18 (UTC)

I didn't reject you, Catra.

[ She takes a deep breath. ]

At least... I didn't mean to. I didn't think I was! You were special. You were one of the most important people in the world to me.

[ "Are", she wants to say. ]

You always try to take so much on yourself and you shouldn't have to, but you do because you feel like it has to be you. And it's stupid. We could have been happy.

[ Catra feels like she's going to cry again, even though she thought she'd cried all her tears earlier with Saturday. ]

I just wanted my Adora back. And you didn't seem to get it.

If I don't do it, who will, Catra?

[ That refers to so many things - to being She-Ra, to saving the planet, to protecting Catra when they were younger. If she doesn't do it, no one will. She has to. She has to or people get hurt. ]

I couldn't just go back to pretending the Horde was fine, Catra. You know that. I was wrong to think it was OK in the first place!

I know you were! I just wish you'd noticed it when it was me getting hurt all the time.

[ Some of the bitterness those words have carried in the past is still there, but mostly they're sad. Quiet. ]

I missed you and I didn't know what to do! I thought you were the person I could lean on and then all of a sudden you were gone!

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