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Agent North Dakota | Andrew Engelsen ([personal profile] bothbarrels) wrote in [community profile] goneawaycomms2020-09-24 10:32 pm

Agent North


Agent North Dakota | Andrew Engelsen
Theta likes dealing with the messages so just leave something appropriate for him to respond to.
[video | audio | text]
ownperson: (pb; sitting)

-> action

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-14 07:26 pm (UTC)(link)

[ South's sitting on her bed when North reaches the room again. 'Their' room, supposedly. She isn't sure if she wants him to stop calling it that or not.

She raises her splinted hand in a vague wave when he walks in. ]

...hey.

Edited 2021-01-14 19:28 (UTC)
ownperson: (pb; purple worried brow furrow)

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-14 07:42 pm (UTC)(link)

[ South's uncharacteristically... small. She's slumped, her splinted hand falling to rest carefully in her lap. She's not looking at him head on. After their last actual conversation, she doesn't know how to talk to him, let alone how to say this. ]

...Delta told me something. The other day. Or, well [ snort ] he told York, I guess. Whatever. About the Project. About what they were doing to us.

ownperson: (pb; purple frustrated talking)

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-14 08:00 pm (UTC)(link)

[ Of course he did. She should have known. Sighing, she musters enough attitude to give him a look, even if he's not looking at her to see it. ]

I have a broken fucking hand, what do you think? I'm... pissed. Like, I want to tear shit apart right now and I can't because I punched a goddamn bulkhead and this place doesn't have fucking knitting polymer, apparently, so I'm fucking stuck sitting around and... and...

[ She curses under her breath. ]

I was right. The whole fucking time. I was... fuck.

ownperson: (pb; purple talking angry)

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-14 08:14 pm (UTC)(link)

[ She blinks at him, a little. That... shouldn't be a comfort, hearing him say that, but it is, in its own fucked up way. ]

Not that, not a fucking... experiment. [ Her lip curls with disgust at the word. ] Just... I fucking knew they were fucking favouring you. I knew it but I felt like I was going fucking insane because... no one else saw it that way. Because I'm the insubordinate one, the bitch, so clearly it was all just... just...

Edited 2021-01-14 20:30 (UTC)
ownperson: (pb; purple hurt glare)

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-14 09:10 pm (UTC)(link)

[ She swallows and makes herself keep her eyes on him, forces herself not to look away. ]

Probably not. [ She snorts quietly, but it's lacking her usual attitude. ] Don't think I could've done anything 'right'. I... I talked to Delta a little, after [ she'd hated to, but she couldn't leave it at what he'd said; she had to know more ] the whole fucking thing was a show. I always thought...

I don't know. I don't know, Drew, I... fuck. [ Her voice quietens. ] I don't even know what's me and what's them, now. What the fuck. What the fuck.

[ She hates that. She thought she knew where she stood, she thought she'd got it all figured out. She thought this was all the logical conclusion of the resentment she'd built up toward him over the years. But what if it hadn't been? ]

ownperson: (pb; purple worried bite lip)

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-14 09:24 pm (UTC)(link)

[ South takes a moment to process the words, let the thought turn around in her head, before surprising herself with a firm: ]

Never. [ Her eyes widen just a little and she huffs, to save face. ] I told you, you weren't meant to... I just thought if it took Theta we could finally fucking get out of there. Get away.

[ It feels stupid, now. North wouldn't have let Theta go so easily no matter what, she knows that, but it had been a last ditch effort to try and 'fix' things. ]

ownperson: (pb; purple frown head back)

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-14 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)

[ She flinches, just a little. His son. Right. She knew that, really. She's seen enough of how close they are to understand that. It's just... strange to hear it aloud.

She blanked out a lot of what he said about Theta, over the years, too stubborn to let it sink in. She'd made up her mind about the AI and it's hard to shake that even now, even after everything both York and North have said about them. But she does know one thing. ]

Yes, Drew, I understand that. I... I think I knew even then. I was just...

[ Desperate. It doesn't justify a thing, but it's the truth. ]

ownperson: (sitting tired)

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-14 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)

[ South nods, sharp and tight. ]

Guess it's lucky we're stuck together, then. [ It's meant to be a joke, but it comes out without any humour and she sighs. ] Drew, I...

[ She bites her tongue sharply, caught between herself and who she's trying so hard not to be. It's almost a full minute before she actually gets the words out: ]

I'm... sorry.

ownperson: (pb; purple frown talking)

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-14 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)

[ Vulnerability and admitting her faults have never been South's strong suits. It's a strain, letting down the front she's so used to maintaining, even around North. Especially around North, after everything. ]

I mean it. And... fuck. [ She drags her good hand over her face, through her hair. ] Look, this... I know I'm the one who went fucking nuclear here, okay, I know that, but... whatever happens, it's... it's not just me who's gotta work on shit, you... know that, right?

[ She's ready to throw those walls back up a second's notice, looking at him warily. ]

ownperson: (pb; purple worried brow furrow)

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-14 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)

[ She takes a deep breath, dropping her head into her hand for a moment, then looks up and looks him in the face. Really looks at him, the look in her eyes open and vulnerable. ]

You gotta fuckin... hear me, Drew. You sit there and listen and talk me through shit but half the time I don't think you ever really hear what I'm saying. Like...

All that shit in the Project. Their experiment. [ She all but hisses the word. ] I'd get so angry and you'd sit there and tell me what I should do, try and calm me down, but you didn't... you didn't get it. I don't know.

[ She's never tried to put this in words, before, but she's trying now. ]

ownperson: (pb; purple i'll drink to that)

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-14 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)

And... and sometimes it feels like you still look at me like that bratty little kid from back home. But I'm not. And you know I'm not, just... sometimes, I think you forget that, because you think you have to... to look out for me like I'm that fucking kid getting into fights on the playground again.

[ She snorts quietly, tilts her head a little at him. ]

Y'know, sometimes, I started fights with kids because I heard them talking shit about you. Funny how things change.

ownperson: (pb; purple head tilt smirk)

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-15 12:11 am (UTC)(link)

[ There's a moment of tenseness at the contact, but it fades and she squeezes back, a little firmer. She cocks her head at him. ]

What's that?

ownperson: (pb; purple smiling sideways)

[personal profile] ownperson 2021-01-15 12:21 am (UTC)(link)

...I love you too, Drew.

[ And if her voice is a little thick, if it takes her a second to say it and not just look at him with a stunned stare, then it's because of the way the words settle in her chest after everything.

After what Washington said, about how there was no one left out there that would so much as care if she died. ]

Guess we kinda drive each other nuts, huh.

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