goneawaycomms | Carolina

[ York stands when Carolina enters and steps closer, taking her in. There's a sense of wonder about him, his good eye bright with carefully restrained excitement at the fact that he's seeing her again. Right in front of him. If the moment wasn't fraught with their past, he'd go in for a hug to be sure that she's real. ]

Hey.

[ Carolina looks older, which isn't surprising considering Wash. If she's from around the same time, or later, of course she would have aged, it's just a shock on his memory of her.

She's still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

All his icebreakers seem weak and stupid right now, despite practicing them for years. He just gives her a small smile, lopsided because of his scar, and speaks genuinely. ]

It's so good to see you again.

[ It's him. Carolina's memories of York are blurred in some ways, the edges worn smooth by how many times she's analyzed them in the years since losing him, and it all snaps back into focus now that he's here.

His smile breaks her heart just as much as the logs she'd found after his death. The same old what-ifs bubble up. What if she'd trusted him? What if she'd looked for him? What if-

Carolina carefully, firmly shoves those aside because she can't deal with those and have this conversation at the same time, and only one of those two tasks is important right now. ]

It's good to see you, too.

[ Her smile is a little more forced, a little sadder, a little more vulnerable. ]

...Circumstances could be a lot better, though. [ No one's around to overhear, but she lowers her voice a little. ] Are you okay?

Hey, I'm alive, that's a step up.

[ It's a bad joke, but he wanted to get across that he knows. She doesn't have to break it to him or dance around it. He does want to answer her question honestly, though, when she's clearly trying, so he sobers a little. ]

I'd be better if I had Delta but I'm dealing as well as I can. At least I can still talk to him sometimes.

[ He hesitates, deliberates. Then: ]

You seem different. Especially how you were with Price.

It's been years. I know it's been years for you too, but for me it's been... more years.

[ How is she going to say this? Think. ]

I learned a lot of things after the Project came apart, and a lot of things happened to me. Some bad, but some good.

[ Hiding. Hunting for the Director. Meeting the others. Getting closure. Running around with Epsilon. Helping to save a planet. Almost being killed in a murder fridge. Breaking and fixing time. The thought of trying to summarize it is daunting. ]

I've had a lot of time to think and I'm... not proud of who I was when you knew me, York.

[ She hasn't figured out the whole South Dakota Delta Situation™ yet, and files the "what's up with Delta" question for later. Answering this part of things is important. ]

Edited 2021-01-18 14:23 (UTC)

[ The years show. Not in a bad way -- actually, in a good way. She's mellowed, that much is obvious, and from what he's seen so far she's grown. Into someone even better.

York wonders what all the things that happened to her were. He'd never been blind to her flaws just like he wasn't blind to his own, but he'd hoped for her that she'd realize how much happier she could be if certain things changed. It seems like they have. Maybe? He listens to her now and it's the same voice, but saying things he never really imagined coming out of her mouth. ]

...I know what that's like. I had a lot of time to think, too, on my own.

[ He doesn't realize that's not what changed her. ]

A lot of thinking about a lot of things and I... need to tell you I'm sorry, Carolina. I could have handled things a lot better. I could have explained it to you, I could have-- I'm sorry, that's all. I understand why you hid.

I'm sorry too.

[ She doesn't hesitate to offer it. ]

I could have trusted you and given you the chance. Instead, I let my obsession with beating Tex convince me I'd lost one more thing to her.

...And threw you down an elevator shaft.

[ This hurt a lot to figure it out, especially in the face of knowing that York had still cared. ]

It wasn't until I'd been with the troopers for a while that I figured out how alone I'd let myself become even before. How much I'd rejected everyone while I still had them.

[ Something aches in York's chest at how readily Carolina offers her apology back, and not only that but how she's able to admit to her obsession and the fact she'd isolated herself with that attitude. He just watches her for a moment before speaking again, and when he does his voice is soft and a little sad. ]

You'd never lost me, Carolina. Not even after you were gone.

[ At the time of their fight he'd thought he'd proven himself plenty. Watching over her, trying to always be there, but it hadn't been enough. Or maybe he just hadn't really understood her, or overestimated his own importance to her. Either way it sucks, and he just wants to do better now that she's standing in front of him again. ]

I'm glad you guys have those troopers now -- it sounds like they've done a lot of good for you both.

[ Sometimes it just takes the right people to come along. It just stings that he wasn't it. ]

[ I did lose you, in the end, she thinks, but doesn't say it. Dragging this down into dark corners won't help either of them here and now. He's not dead here.]

I needed perspective. ...And to be told to fuck off, if I'm honest. They were good for that.

[ There's a dryness her tone that offers a hint to how exasperated but fond that part of her life is. ]

Come on. Let's walk. I trust your take on the place more than Debby from Onboarding.

[ Their catching up is more than just about the past, after all. ]

[ York hesitates, still not 100% on if he should tell her. There's a risk that she'll run off and leave him and ruin everything but... he can trust her, right? This her.

He takes a gamble and asks for the truth first. ]

Wait, before we go wandering around... there's one thing you should know about in private. But you can't tell Wash and I know that might be hard.

Can you keep a secret from him? It's to keep him safe.

[ She hesitates for an uncomfortably long beat. Carolina has all too recently dealt with the fallout of keeping things from Wash for his own good.

But, she has even more recently affirmed that she should've trusted York before. She decides. ]

I don't like keeping things from Wash, and he really doesn't like anyone keeping secrets.

But I trust you.

Yeah, I know and neither do I. But we're worried if he knows they might kill him, so...

[ He takes a deep breath. He didn't clear Carolina with Stacia yet, but the 'I trust you' wins him over. ]

Did he tell you about his memory loss?

He didn't.

[ Not yet, anyway. Wash has drastically underestimated how much Carolina would want to know about this. She's suddenly laser-focused. Dealing with her feelings and their past? Complicated. Dealing with an immediate problem affecting someone else? Much clearer. ]

What's happening to him, York?

It's significant. He says he came in with brain damage and the Stuff fixed it, but took away his memory of... years worth. There's someone here who thinks he's wrong about that, though. I haven't gotten the chance to check his head for scars, but thinks Jorgmund did some kind of procedure that intentionally took them away. And we don't fully understand why. He's having flashbacks where some of them make sense and line up with what Tucker's said about his missing time. Others... seem like he was being studied by someone? He had one with me where he compared the woman asking him questions to Price, which doesn't sound great.

[ Carolina's eyes narrow as she listens. Not at York, but at the subject matter. ]

I wouldn't put any of that past these people, from what I've seen of them.

Who's this someone? Do I know them? You sound like you're not talking about one of us.

[ She has a feeling that if it was one of them, that person would've been on her with it already. ]

A friendly acquaintance of his, as she put it -- her name's Stacia. She's young but seemed genuine thinking that something was more wrong with him than just the amnesia, and it lines up. She said I should bring in people I trusted.

[ And he does trust Carolina, even if he's a little worried about her going to Wash with this. Which is what he's going to address next. ]

We don't know what else Jorgmund might be capable of or what they'd do to Wash if he knew about it. There might be some kind of aspect of control, for example. They might know more about our implants than they let on. We need to get some more information before sitting him down to talk about this, that's all.

The werewolf girl. [ It's not a question so much as an indicator of mild surprise. Carolina remembers Stacia. ]

Thank you for telling me this. I'll keep quiet for now, see what Wash says unprompted when we meet up.

[ She shakes her head. ]

He told me it could wait.

[ A little frustration and a lot more concern are palpable here. ]

Yeah, her.

[ York blinks at that last, then huffs softly and shakes his head too. ]

I'm not surprised. He's... so different, Carolina. From the Wash you know too, I think. He doesn't think anyone could care about him, it's been pulling teeth to get him to trust me at all.

When I met up with Wash again, after everything... it wasn't a good scene for either of us. There was a point where shots were almost fired, and I can't honestly say who would've walked away from it.

[ What she doesn't say is that she doesn't think it would have been her. ]

If he's back there, I don't know what anything I say is going to mean to him. Or what he'll even decide to tell me.

But I can still find out.

[ York listens quietly, thoughtfully. Knowing that Wash has gotten through this before actually gives him more hope, not less. ]

I think... it'll probably be rough at first, like it was for us. But he's not completely shut down, just different. You can get through, too.

We just need to be there for him, and consistent about it.

[ She nods. Carolina is better about rushing into things than she once was, and has already been in a situation she hated where she kept something from Wash while just trying to be present for him. She can do this, but it's going to suck. ]

Sounds like a plan.

[ Big breath in, big breath out. That's going to be a hell of a conversation with Wash, but later. ]

...If that situation's at least stable for now, I'd still like to get your read on the rest of the place.

[ York hesitates. ]

It's more or less stable, but if he ever has an episode around you where he remembers something that doesn't make sense with his history... you'll tell me, right? I'm just trying to put the pieces together. They seem to happen when he's hurt or extremely stressed. Which I hope doesn't happen again anytime soon, but. You know.

[ It's kind of a staple of their lives, it seems like. As for his read on the rest of the place? ]

I've only been on one 'mission' and it was pretty ridiculous. My read is that our corporate overlords are way too controlling, but you should talk to Wash or North or somebody who's been here longer than me about the kind of work they make us do. I've only been here a few weeks.

I will.

[ That is a promise. Project What Is Wrong With Washington just got another very seriously invested member. ]

So, I'll take that as a confirmation that it's as bad as it looks so far.

[ It's kind of a joke, but it's not very funny. That's okay. She wasn't going for funny anyway. ]

North's on my list too.

Honestly, it's probably way worse if we're right and they're experimenting on us. Like they say the Stuff gives us our powers but... who the hell knows?

....From what I know, they haven't done anything to me. But I don't have superpowers, so maybe I'm just not interesting.

[ She looks at him, very serious. ]

I'll tell you if I hear anything.

Wash was... something had happened to him. Before all this.

A lot of things happened to both of us.

He's... more vulnerable now.

[ She seems to be struggling with how much she should or should not say. ]

They seem opportunistic and, if this isn't a time problem, Wash was coming in already wounded. There would have been more of a chance to do something to him than most of us.

Edited 2021-02-10 13:59 (UTC)

I do. They're kind of cool, but also... it's a little disturbing.

[ He'd explain further but Carolina keeps talking, and York goes quiet and attentive. His brow furrows a little. ]

What happened?

[ It's obvious enough that she's struggling with what to share, and York doesn't know how to convince her that it's okay, she can tell him anything. Because it's not just her business, it's Wash's. ]

He told me about the gunshot wound, the brain damage, and I thought that's what they were taking advantage of here if we're right. But if there's something else... even he doesn't know. We're just going off what Tucker told him.

Carolina, it could be important.

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onequartershark - 2021-02-13 04:34 (UTC) - Expand

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infailtration - 2021-03-29 13:49 (UTC) - Expand

Carolina

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oh jeeze i thought i answered this one sorry!

it's okay!!

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