Agent Carolina (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
onequartershark) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
goneawaycomms2021-01-09 01:37 am
onequartershark) wrote in goneawaycomms2021-01-09 01:37 am
Carolina
● CAROLINA
It's just Carolina. North and South are other people.
[video | audio | text]
● CAROLINA
It's just Carolina. North and South are other people.
[video | audio | text]
I've been checking in with everyone this afternoon, though I suppose you won't be surprised to hear I didn't know you were here until this morning. Are you okay after everything that happened today?
I'd welcome you, too, but...you know.
I'd welcome you, too, but...you know.
[ It's He. It's Him. Duke third in line for the royal brain cell, also known as Tucker. He went ahead and made the comm trip from psycopath whats-his-face's YouTuber apology tour. ]
Hey, Carolina. I tuned out of you verbally kicking that Price dude's ass, so I dunno if you're done yet. [ That's respect for privacy, kids. It's also about prioritizing.
This is, in fact, legitimately serious. ] But hit me back ASAP when you are. There's some shit we need to cover.
[ There. Nice and to the point. And if he's lucky, not soon to be followed with "who the hell are you." ]
Hey, Carolina. I tuned out of you verbally kicking that Price dude's ass, so I dunno if you're done yet. [ That's respect for privacy, kids. It's also about prioritizing.
This is, in fact, legitimately serious. ] But hit me back ASAP when you are. There's some shit we need to cover.
[ There. Nice and to the point. And if he's lucky, not soon to be followed with "who the hell are you." ]
I'm okay, North.
[ She sounds calm, at least. Of her old team, North is probably the least emotionally loaded one to talk to again. ]
Are you?
[ She sounds calm, at least. Of her old team, North is probably the least emotionally loaded one to talk to again. ]
Are you?
I'm done. For now.
[ Is she writing off the potential need to do it again? Not even a little bit. ]
What's going on, Tucker?
[ Tucker is, of the former sim troopers, the one Carolina trusts most to lay down real priorities. ...Which is a hell of a fact he must never, ever find out. ]
[ Is she writing off the potential need to do it again? Not even a little bit. ]
What's going on, Tucker?
[ Tucker is, of the former sim troopers, the one Carolina trusts most to lay down real priorities. ...Which is a hell of a fact he must never, ever find out. ]
(cont'd from here)
[ Carolina shows up after she finishes things off with Price and has settled a couple more to-do list items. It's not a very long wait.
She's herself, but tired. Tired without the undercurrent of frustration that usually came of Carolina being tired, though ]
Hey, York.
[ She's... not totally casual. She can't be, walking up to a man who's been dead for years and who she never set some things right with. But she's trying. ]
[ Carolina shows up after she finishes things off with Price and has settled a couple more to-do list items. It's not a very long wait.
She's herself, but tired. Tired without the undercurrent of frustration that usually came of Carolina being tired, though ]
Hey, York.
[ She's... not totally casual. She can't be, walking up to a man who's been dead for years and who she never set some things right with. But she's trying. ]
[ York stands when Carolina enters and steps closer, taking her in. There's a sense of wonder about him, his good eye bright with carefully restrained excitement at the fact that he's seeing her again. Right in front of him. If the moment wasn't fraught with their past, he'd go in for a hug to be sure that she's real. ]
Hey.
[ Carolina looks older, which isn't surprising considering Wash. If she's from around the same time, or later, of course she would have aged, it's just a shock on his memory of her.
She's still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
All his icebreakers seem weak and stupid right now, despite practicing them for years. He just gives her a small smile, lopsided because of his scar, and speaks genuinely. ]
It's so good to see you again.
Hey.
[ Carolina looks older, which isn't surprising considering Wash. If she's from around the same time, or later, of course she would have aged, it's just a shock on his memory of her.
She's still the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
All his icebreakers seem weak and stupid right now, despite practicing them for years. He just gives her a small smile, lopsided because of his scar, and speaks genuinely. ]
It's so good to see you again.
Currently doing all right. Things have been somewhere on a scale of awkward to angering at turns, but I'm dealing with it.
[ Secret validation is something that can be so personal. ]
I'm gonna skip over the orientation since whatever Jorgmund corporate crap was in the slideshow is still more than I actually know about what we're looking at. That's whatever.
[ Leave that to the qualified nerds. Wait for the chance to do a sword. Stick to his teammate, etc. As previously mentioned: priorities.
When in doubt on exactly where to start, rip off one of the bandaids and proceed thusly. Poetically. ]
So for starters, Wash is on the Rig with us. But he's-- Carolina, his memory is completely fucked. Like it's kinda shady how it's so fucked up, fucked.
I'm gonna skip over the orientation since whatever Jorgmund corporate crap was in the slideshow is still more than I actually know about what we're looking at. That's whatever.
[ Leave that to the qualified nerds. Wait for the chance to do a sword. Stick to his teammate, etc. As previously mentioned: priorities.
When in doubt on exactly where to start, rip off one of the bandaids and proceed thusly. Poetically. ]
So for starters, Wash is on the Rig with us. But he's-- Carolina, his memory is completely fucked. Like it's kinda shady how it's so fucked up, fucked.
Let's just say I know the feeling.
Partly, anyway.
South said you're not talking.
Partly, anyway.
South said you're not talking.
[ Carolina had already committed some of her mental resources to forgetting the slideshow was a thing, and is now forcibly reminded. Oof.
But there's also a much more important topic at hand here, and she is all business now. ]
What?
[ That's what she says. What her voice says is: Oh my god, Wash. ]
He told me he needed to talk to me, but that it could wait.
[ She could strangle him. You know. In that way you sometimes desperately need to strangle someone you love very much because they're also an idiot. ]
What happened? What's wrong with his memory?
But there's also a much more important topic at hand here, and she is all business now. ]
What?
[ That's what she says. What her voice says is: Oh my god, Wash. ]
He told me he needed to talk to me, but that it could wait.
[ She could strangle him. You know. In that way you sometimes desperately need to strangle someone you love very much because they're also an idiot. ]
What happened? What's wrong with his memory?
[ It's him. Carolina's memories of York are blurred in some ways, the edges worn smooth by how many times she's analyzed them in the years since losing him, and it all snaps back into focus now that he's here.
His smile breaks her heart just as much as the logs she'd found after his death. The same old what-ifs bubble up. What if she'd trusted him? What if she'd looked for him? What if-
Carolina carefully, firmly shoves those aside because she can't deal with those and have this conversation at the same time, and only one of those two tasks is important right now. ]
It's good to see you, too.
[ Her smile is a little more forced, a little sadder, a little more vulnerable. ]
...Circumstances could be a lot better, though. [ No one's around to overhear, but she lowers her voice a little. ] Are you okay?
His smile breaks her heart just as much as the logs she'd found after his death. The same old what-ifs bubble up. What if she'd trusted him? What if she'd looked for him? What if-
Carolina carefully, firmly shoves those aside because she can't deal with those and have this conversation at the same time, and only one of those two tasks is important right now. ]
It's good to see you, too.
[ Her smile is a little more forced, a little sadder, a little more vulnerable. ]
...Circumstances could be a lot better, though. [ No one's around to overhear, but she lowers her voice a little. ] Are you okay?
That's pretty much the long and short of it.
You touch base with everyone who's here earlier, then?
You touch base with everyone who's here earlier, then?
Yes.
[ It's been A Day. ]
Situation normal.
[ She doesn't have to say the "all fucked up," they both know. ]
[ It's been A Day. ]
Situation normal.
[ She doesn't have to say the "all fucked up," they both know. ]
[ God, finally. Someone on the right emotional level that he doesn't have to 'get to know'.
Also, that's such a Wash brand way of ranking his own issues even without memory problems that it's almost normal. Wash's special and kinda sad brand of being a dumbass. ]
What's wrong is he's missing a ton of it! Like, according to him, someone somewhere in medical knew how to patch up his brain damage when he got in. Which is great, except now the last thing from home he 100% remembers is from before we took out the Meta. I had to fucking introduce myself to him!
[ There's "Wash zones out while he's cooking and someone has to herd him back on track" and then there's "missing actual years of his life consistently for the past however many weeks." Hence the current levels of shrillness and concern-which-sounds-an-awful-lot-like-being-pissed-off. ]
Anything from after that, it's just... I dunno. Not gone? Sometimes he remembers stuff or says something that sounds normal. It's like he's still got it but he can't pick it back up.
[ Which is shady in and of itself. Starting on amnesia street was probably the best game plan. It's sort of what the rest of the shady stuff is built on top of. An important foundation to lay down. ]
Also, that's such a Wash brand way of ranking his own issues even without memory problems that it's almost normal. Wash's special and kinda sad brand of being a dumbass. ]
What's wrong is he's missing a ton of it! Like, according to him, someone somewhere in medical knew how to patch up his brain damage when he got in. Which is great, except now the last thing from home he 100% remembers is from before we took out the Meta. I had to fucking introduce myself to him!
[ There's "Wash zones out while he's cooking and someone has to herd him back on track" and then there's "missing actual years of his life consistently for the past however many weeks." Hence the current levels of shrillness and concern-which-sounds-an-awful-lot-like-being-pissed-off. ]
Anything from after that, it's just... I dunno. Not gone? Sometimes he remembers stuff or says something that sounds normal. It's like he's still got it but he can't pick it back up.
[ Which is shady in and of itself. Starting on amnesia street was probably the best game plan. It's sort of what the rest of the shady stuff is built on top of. An important foundation to lay down. ]
Yeah. Understood.
I'd like to grab a meal with you sometime—sometime before the next mission—get reacquainted.
I'd like to grab a meal with you sometime—sometime before the next mission—get reacquainted.
So it sounds like the company broke something while they were in there.
[ What the fuck. Carolina breathes in. Carolina breathes out. Alright. Much though she wishes this were a problem that she could solve by taking out this spike of anger on something she can hit, it's not happening. Think. ]
I need to talk to him. I was on my way to meet him actually, but I don't know how this is going to go if he doesn't remember anything after... that.
[ Carolina doesn't like bringing up the Meta. She knew him. His fate still bothers her. ]
Wash and I weren't exactly good friends at the time.
[ Understatement. Tucker was there, she knows he knows. It was a bad and very regrettable time for all. ]
[ What the fuck. Carolina breathes in. Carolina breathes out. Alright. Much though she wishes this were a problem that she could solve by taking out this spike of anger on something she can hit, it's not happening. Think. ]
I need to talk to him. I was on my way to meet him actually, but I don't know how this is going to go if he doesn't remember anything after... that.
[ Carolina doesn't like bringing up the Meta. She knew him. His fate still bothers her. ]
Wash and I weren't exactly good friends at the time.
[ Understatement. Tucker was there, she knows he knows. It was a bad and very regrettable time for all. ]
I'd like that too, North.
[ She makes plans to save him a seat at dinner.
...Then a shapeshifting monster runs loose on the rig and there are forcefield times, but she had no way of knowing that.
She feels like she should say more, somehow, but it's not coming to her. There's no rubric for having conversations with people who you remember as dead. She doesn't have a bunch of items she can check off to prove she did it right. And, it seems, practice isn't helping much either.
She'll hang out with North and get used to him being alive again. Maybe that will work. ]
[ She makes plans to save him a seat at dinner.
...Then a shapeshifting monster runs loose on the rig and there are forcefield times, but she had no way of knowing that.
She feels like she should say more, somehow, but it's not coming to her. There's no rubric for having conversations with people who you remember as dead. She doesn't have a bunch of items she can check off to prove she did it right. And, it seems, practice isn't helping much either.
She'll hang out with North and get used to him being alive again. Maybe that will work. ]
Yeah, I didn't wanna say anything about your obvious beef back in the day when you were more likely to shoot us, but I picked up on that.
[ Ah, memories. ]
For what it's worth, I don't think it'll go bad-bad. Maybe not as good as it could. Not the worst. He kinda trusts me already, y'know? If he's picking up on that when I'm just a Sim trooper he didn't even meet yet, I think you're gonna get more vibe clearance right off than any of the rest of us could. Wash told me himself that he thinks it's still in there somewhere. So, uh.
Don't sneak up on him and you'll be fine. Seeing how it doesn't fuckin' matter if he wants us on his side figuring out what happened or not anyway.
[ There are only 2 friendship speeds: "you know what, I fucking hate you" and "let's go gang time to kill, die, or destroy the universe for someone." It's cool and healthy. ]
[ Ah, memories. ]
For what it's worth, I don't think it'll go bad-bad. Maybe not as good as it could. Not the worst. He kinda trusts me already, y'know? If he's picking up on that when I'm just a Sim trooper he didn't even meet yet, I think you're gonna get more vibe clearance right off than any of the rest of us could. Wash told me himself that he thinks it's still in there somewhere. So, uh.
Don't sneak up on him and you'll be fine. Seeing how it doesn't fuckin' matter if he wants us on his side figuring out what happened or not anyway.
[ There are only 2 friendship speeds: "you know what, I fucking hate you" and "let's go gang time to kill, die, or destroy the universe for someone." It's cool and healthy. ]
[ If his memory is still in there, maybe there's hope they can drag it back out. It's only fair to return the favor, after all. It makes her feel slightly better, but only slightly. ]
He knows I'm coming, so at least I don't have to worry about sneaking up on him.
[ She hasn't been on this side of the "I'm helping you out of your self-destructive bullshit whether you like it or not" fence before, it's weird here. ]
...Thank you, Tucker.
Besides the thing with Wash, are you alright?
[ She's not the best at this part of looking out for other people, but being around the team she feels like she failed has done a lot to renew the commitment to trying. ]
He knows I'm coming, so at least I don't have to worry about sneaking up on him.
[ She hasn't been on this side of the "I'm helping you out of your self-destructive bullshit whether you like it or not" fence before, it's weird here. ]
...Thank you, Tucker.
Besides the thing with Wash, are you alright?
[ She's not the best at this part of looking out for other people, but being around the team she feels like she failed has done a lot to renew the commitment to trying. ]
Well, between the Wash thing and Jorgmund being Jorgmund and the Rig turning into Freelancer Central Station, I think it's pretty impressive that I'm still good to stay in the game. 'cause it's kinda been a bad fucking time all the way down.
You know how much having to think responsibly stresses me out. I'm like a betta fish. I'm good-looking and I can maybe kick another fish's ass, but I suck at stress.
[ Tucker's legacy of slow-burn internalized panic continues. He is still good to stay in the game, though. ]
But on the bright side, these bozos haven't even found an excuse to zap me yet. And I know I've been an annoying pain in the ass. So that's one for the win chart.
You know how much having to think responsibly stresses me out. I'm like a betta fish. I'm good-looking and I can maybe kick another fish's ass, but I suck at stress.
[ Tucker's legacy of slow-burn internalized panic continues. He is still good to stay in the game, though. ]
But on the bright side, these bozos haven't even found an excuse to zap me yet. And I know I've been an annoying pain in the ass. So that's one for the win chart.
Hey, I'm alive, that's a step up.
[ It's a bad joke, but he wanted to get across that he knows. She doesn't have to break it to him or dance around it. He does want to answer her question honestly, though, when she's clearly trying, so he sobers a little. ]
I'd be better if I had Delta but I'm dealing as well as I can. At least I can still talk to him sometimes.
[ He hesitates, deliberates. Then: ]
You seem different. Especially how you were with Price.
[ It's a bad joke, but he wanted to get across that he knows. She doesn't have to break it to him or dance around it. He does want to answer her question honestly, though, when she's clearly trying, so he sobers a little. ]
I'd be better if I had Delta but I'm dealing as well as I can. At least I can still talk to him sometimes.
[ He hesitates, deliberates. Then: ]
You seem different. Especially how you were with Price.
It's been years. I know it's been years for you too, but for me it's been... more years.
[ How is she going to say this? Think. ]
I learned a lot of things after the Project came apart, and a lot of things happened to me. Some bad, but some good.
[ Hiding. Hunting for the Director. Meeting the others. Getting closure. Running around with Epsilon. Helping to save a planet. Almost being killed in a murder fridge. Breaking and fixing time. The thought of trying to summarize it is daunting. ]
I've had a lot of time to think and I'm... not proud of who I was when you knew me, York.
[ She hasn't figured out the whole South Dakota Delta Situation™ yet, and files the "what's up with Delta" question for later. Answering this part of things is important. ]
[ How is she going to say this? Think. ]
I learned a lot of things after the Project came apart, and a lot of things happened to me. Some bad, but some good.
[ Hiding. Hunting for the Director. Meeting the others. Getting closure. Running around with Epsilon. Helping to save a planet. Almost being killed in a murder fridge. Breaking and fixing time. The thought of trying to summarize it is daunting. ]
I've had a lot of time to think and I'm... not proud of who I was when you knew me, York.
[ She hasn't figured out the whole South Dakota Delta Situation™ yet, and files the "what's up with Delta" question for later. Answering this part of things is important. ]
Edited 2021-01-18 14:23 (UTC)
[ The years show. Not in a bad way -- actually, in a good way. She's mellowed, that much is obvious, and from what he's seen so far she's grown. Into someone even better.
York wonders what all the things that happened to her were. He'd never been blind to her flaws just like he wasn't blind to his own, but he'd hoped for her that she'd realize how much happier she could be if certain things changed. It seems like they have. Maybe? He listens to her now and it's the same voice, but saying things he never really imagined coming out of her mouth. ]
...I know what that's like. I had a lot of time to think, too, on my own.
[ He doesn't realize that's not what changed her. ]
A lot of thinking about a lot of things and I... need to tell you I'm sorry, Carolina. I could have handled things a lot better. I could have explained it to you, I could have-- I'm sorry, that's all. I understand why you hid.
York wonders what all the things that happened to her were. He'd never been blind to her flaws just like he wasn't blind to his own, but he'd hoped for her that she'd realize how much happier she could be if certain things changed. It seems like they have. Maybe? He listens to her now and it's the same voice, but saying things he never really imagined coming out of her mouth. ]
...I know what that's like. I had a lot of time to think, too, on my own.
[ He doesn't realize that's not what changed her. ]
A lot of thinking about a lot of things and I... need to tell you I'm sorry, Carolina. I could have handled things a lot better. I could have explained it to you, I could have-- I'm sorry, that's all. I understand why you hid.
[ Tucker hasn't been zapped yet? Since when? Alright, that's not fair, Tucker has actually done a lot of maturing since Carolina met him and she can recognize it.
It takes one to know one. They have wildly different problems, but they also have greenish-blue character development solidarity. ]
Good.
Tucker, I am genuinely proud of you.
[ She will probably live to regret saying that, but they are trapped in a shitty corporate trash fire in an alternate universe with a broken best friend that she's on her way to go see. If you have something supportive to say to somebody, now is probably a good time. ]
It takes one to know one. They have wildly different problems, but they also have greenish-blue character development solidarity. ]
Good.
Tucker, I am genuinely proud of you.
[ She will probably live to regret saying that, but they are trapped in a shitty corporate trash fire in an alternate universe with a broken best friend that she's on her way to go see. If you have something supportive to say to somebody, now is probably a good time. ]
I'm sorry too.
[ She doesn't hesitate to offer it. ]
I could have trusted you and given you the chance. Instead, I let my obsession with beating Tex convince me I'd lost one more thing to her.
...And threw you down an elevator shaft.
[ This hurt a lot to figure it out, especially in the face of knowing that York had still cared. ]
It wasn't until I'd been with the troopers for a while that I figured out how alone I'd let myself become even before. How much I'd rejected everyone while I still had them.
[ She doesn't hesitate to offer it. ]
I could have trusted you and given you the chance. Instead, I let my obsession with beating Tex convince me I'd lost one more thing to her.
...And threw you down an elevator shaft.
[ This hurt a lot to figure it out, especially in the face of knowing that York had still cared. ]
It wasn't until I'd been with the troopers for a while that I figured out how alone I'd let myself become even before. How much I'd rejected everyone while I still had them.
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