York

[infailtration]

● York
leave one if you need me
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[bothbarrels]

All right, fine; yeah, there was. There is.

[ He feels awful admitting that, though, no matter how accepting York seems to be. He touches York's eyelid. ]

Does that not bother you?

[infailtration]

[ York doesn't dare shake his head because he doesn't want to get poked in the eye -- he shrugs a little instead. ]

Not in and of itself, no. Because it doesn't change what you feel for me. The only thing I'm worried about is what choice you'll make.

[bothbarrels]

I don't understand that.

[ He says it quietly, wonderingly. ]

I won't do anything stupid. I just want to... I need to check.

[infailtration]

[ York sighs a little. ]

You're still framing it as something wrong, that acting on it even if I said it's okay -- which I'm not, to be clear, because of the way you think of love -- would make our relationship less.

[ He hesitates, frowning a little. ]

...you're not okay with me still having feelings for Carolina, are you? Are you doing the thing again?

[bothbarrels]

[ North doesn't like to see that expression on York's face. He swallows. ]

Josh...

[ His hand cups York's cheek again, his fingers toying with York's ear. ]

I'm really mixed up right now and I don't know how to answer that.

[infailtration]

[ Yeah, he's doing the thing. York closes his eyes, tilting his head into the touch. ]

I don't know how else to explain it, North. And I don't get why you can't just admit when something's a problem... but I'll let you sort through the Wrath stuff first.

[bothbarrels]

[ He responds quietly, almost a whisper, and his tone has an edge of bitterness to it. ]

'Cause I've never been allowed to have problems.

[ He moves his hand to the back of York's neck, glancing to the hall to make sure no one's coming, then presses a light kiss to York's mouth. ]

I didn't mean you when I said that.

[ Just waking up is the worst time to try to conceal one's feelings. Normally that wouldn't have come out. ]

[infailtration]

[ It's a troubling statement, honestly. It implies a lifetime of repression and York doesn't know how to begin unpacking it with him. He meets North's gaze, voice firm. ]

You're allowed. I'm saying you're allowed, anyway, so I hope you feel like you can at least be honest with me.

[ It should be something he does with everyone he cares about, at the least, but baby steps. ]

[bothbarrels]

[ It's a nice sentiment, at least. And he knows York, of all people, means it. At least, he thinks he means it. Which counts for something. ]

I'll remember.

[ He rubs the back of York's neck. ]

And you know I love you.

[infailtration]

[ York blinks, then smiles slowly. ]

You've never actually said that.

[bothbarrels]

[ His eyes flutter self-consciously. ]

I know. I just thought it was important to make clear now.

[infailtration]

[ Don't think you've distracted him, North! But... ]

It's nice to hear it.