If I'm bothering you, then leave. You're the one that insisted on taking me here.
[He's so tired of everything, he doesn't have the energy to figure out whatever Dan means. It's not like it isn't absolute nonsense, anyway. Dan didn't even deny that he sees Price as a readily available mistake to make. That's the part that hurts, and he either didn't understand it or deliberately ignored it.]
I came here to apologize - and I meant it - but now you're just trying to hurt me with whatever words you can, and I just wanted to know if you had gotten it out of your system.
[Because Dan isn't bothered, not by the attacks. He's bothered by how he made Price feel, getting sucked into Dan's self-destruction, being "the mistake", but bothered in the kind of way where he wants to stay planted here and work through it until Price doesn't feel used anymore. He doesn't know if that's an option, but it definitely isn't if he walks away.]
No. What you do is your decision, not mine. I'll take responsibility for being rude to you. Hell, I take responsibility for using you just because I wanted to do something reckless, and I definitely take responsibility for not realizing that you felt pressured.
[He folds his arms.]
But if you go on and hurt someone else, that's all you, not me. You got free will. I ain't your God.
Well, whatever you do, it’s your decision. Not mine.
[Dan’s killed enough people, had enough people die while working cases, that he’s gotten good at handling guilt over things he can’t control. And while he’s doing his best to connect with Price, he can’t control him.]
Oh, please. [Dan snorts.] We got a gymnasium, we got a library, we got folks to talk to. There’s plenty to do besides hurt people and dodge responsibility from it.
[If he could raise his voice, he would have shouted that sentence.]
There's just no point. I might as well do what I'm good at.
[Ending it there would be enough, but he tries to mellow it down, because while he wants to make it clear that destroying things and people is ALL he's good for, he doesn't want to say it explicitly.]
Sure it makes me happier than walking on eggshells all the time.
[Nobody cares about him, nobody ever has. Ever since he lost control here on the Rig he's been through some sort of horrific age regression, and everything is a bit like it used to be. He's the problem child, the one who inconveniences others and is treated in the way that makes them comfortable.]
Not hurting other people ain’t walking on eggshells.
[Dan doesn’t sound exasperated, even though he is. He stays patient, calm. This isn’t personal anymore; this is work, the same as corralling a scared monster away from its prey, the same as dissuading an angry ghost from violent haunting.]
Tell me how you want people to respond to you. Honestly. What do you want from them?
[His expressions saddens at the question. How can he ask to be treated right when he doesn't know what it's like? How can he discern that they're respecting him for real and not trying to make him disappear? His situation has always been so peculiar that he can't really compare it to anyone else's, the textbooks only helped so much.]
How you respond to something is in your control. Reckon it's the only thing that always is.
[But Dan doesn't say this like he's lecturing or dismissing Price, only prodding around the edges of Price's statements in hopes of defining them more.]
[It's not compliance that helps, nor containing his reponses. It's just that it doesn't actually matter, people have assigned a label to him and whatever he does they will twist to make it conform to it.]
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Right. Keep lying to yourself, Daniel. See where that takes you.
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[Dan isn't being snarky; he's curious if Price is burning himself out on vitriol.]
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[He's so tired of everything, he doesn't have the energy to figure out whatever Dan means. It's not like it isn't absolute nonsense, anyway. Dan didn't even deny that he sees Price as a readily available mistake to make. That's the part that hurts, and he either didn't understand it or deliberately ignored it.]
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[Because Dan isn't bothered, not by the attacks. He's bothered by how he made Price feel, getting sucked into Dan's self-destruction, being "the mistake", but bothered in the kind of way where he wants to stay planted here and work through it until Price doesn't feel used anymore. He doesn't know if that's an option, but it definitely isn't if he walks away.]
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[His eyes light up from the red laser, like he's charging it. He won't shoot it, he just wants to convey something.]
And you don't want me to alleviate it.
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[Dan doesn't back down as Price's eyes flash.]
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[Does Dan really think he can solve everything by reminding him that he doesn't mind dying? It's not how it works.]
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[He folds his arms.]
But if you go on and hurt someone else, that's all you, not me. You got free will. I ain't your God.
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[He exhales from his nose, the lasers in his eyes turn off.]
I miss killing, anyway.
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Counselor, you ain't stupid enough to try and get away with killing anyone on this Rig.
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[Now he's the one that doesn't care about getting killed.]
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[Dan’s killed enough people, had enough people die while working cases, that he’s gotten good at handling guilt over things he can’t control. And while he’s doing his best to connect with Price, he can’t control him.]
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[He shrugs.]
There is nothing else to do, anyway.
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[If he could raise his voice, he would have shouted that sentence.]
There's just no point. I might as well do what I'm good at.
[Ending it there would be enough, but he tries to mellow it down, because while he wants to make it clear that destroying things and people is ALL he's good for, he doesn't want to say it explicitly.]
Which is doing what I want.
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[Christ, if he could just get Price to realize how it so obviously doesn’t.]
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[Nobody cares about him, nobody ever has. Ever since he lost control here on the Rig he's been through some sort of horrific age regression, and everything is a bit like it used to be. He's the problem child, the one who inconveniences others and is treated in the way that makes them comfortable.]
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[Dan doesn’t sound exasperated, even though he is. He stays patient, calm. This isn’t personal anymore; this is work, the same as corralling a scared monster away from its prey, the same as dissuading an angry ghost from violent haunting.]
Tell me how you want people to respond to you. Honestly. What do you want from them?
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[His expressions saddens at the question. How can he ask to be treated right when he doesn't know what it's like? How can he discern that they're respecting him for real and not trying to make him disappear? His situation has always been so peculiar that he can't really compare it to anyone else's, the textbooks only helped so much.]
It's more complicated than that.
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[Maybe the fact that Price can't answer it is information on its face.]
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[He crosses his arms. It truly doesn't matter if the result is always going to be the same.]
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[Dan sits against the railing, settling in for however long this conversation goes.]
Tell me what you mean that it won't work out.
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[It's already quite obvious that he's never been handled properly. He doesn't want to say it out loud.]
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[But Dan doesn't say this like he's lecturing or dismissing Price, only prodding around the edges of Price's statements in hopes of defining them more.]
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[He sighs.]
Nevermind.
[It's not compliance that helps, nor containing his reponses. It's just that it doesn't actually matter, people have assigned a label to him and whatever he does they will twist to make it conform to it.]
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