goneawaycomms | Counselor Aiden Price

I don't reckon it matters what I believe. I might could die here, or might could die back home. It makes no difference to me so I ain't pondered it much.

[With Eliora gone, he has nothing to go back to, and Dan's been so terrible at envisioning the future ever since he spent his youth expecting to die soon and violently. He expects to die sooner rather than later. He finds it comforting, far more comforting than the idea of going back home and having to just continue out his days with the bitch of living biting at his ankles.

Dan draws his lips tight, not in judgment but in some kind of flinch from the pain of watching someone announce their intend to continue making the same mistakes they always have.]

I hope, if you do go back, you find something or someone else that makes you happy. But I'd understand if you did go back to him.

[Price tenses up and withdraws from Dan. There's so much surrendering in his voice, so much will to just let whatever come to him that it's confusing. He knows that it's not a trap, but it feels like one.]

Right.

[He sighs.]

Sometimes I like to think that he could get here any moment, and that maybe we could make up. Even if it's just him and me against the world, I wouldn't mind...

[A bitter scoff follows.]

Not that he ever really noticed me.

[He then proceeds to sound humourous or at least amused.]

Sometimes you have to settle!

[To think that he still speaks so highly of him after he betrayed him like that. He tries not to think about the Director ratting him out to save himself, because the Director gave him everything and if only they could have gone on forever with Project Freelancer without facing consequences Price would be the happiest man ever.

That's why he clings to the idea of the Director, but he is forced to laugh it off because the man never seemed to appreciate his efforts, never remembered his name or considered him human, never let him in, and was always quick to bully him even in front of his subordinates. Price fully rejecting everything he was before Project Freelancers means that in his head he promoted the Director to the person he loves the most spot. So knowing that, in light of the poor treatment, he really is settling is deeply mortifying.

What's even more mortifying is that even counting everything before PFL nobody ever succeeded to give him what the Director gave him, to need him the way he is and not whatever mask he put on for the occasion. Carolina has even had the nerve to insinuate that Price didn't care about the Director for enabling his self harming tendencies, to speak like he took advantage of him.

The exchange was fair, the Director let him play with his dark side and Price let him rule over him with an iron fist, obeying at every order. Even so, he was the only one that gave the Director what he asked for and the bastard didn't even appreciate it...]

You reckon you could ever find that kind of sense of...[what is it Price is describing? It seems to be more all-consuming and fixated than love. Obsession?] ...purpose with anyone else?

[Dan realizes how that sounds, and probably would have worded it differently if not for being a little stoned on whatever it was the infirmary gave him (bless them).]

I'm not offering myself up or anything, I ain't trying to steal you away, that's not what I mean. But there are countless universes out there, billions and billions of people. You might could find that sort of dynamic with someone else, without having to hold onto someone you don't got anymore.

[Is Dan, so mired in grieving those he lost, being a bit of a hypocrite or a total hypocrite? Yes.]

[Price gives Dan a very confused look. He's not sure whether Dan actually thinks there could be an alternative solution or if it's all just a poor attempt to give comfort. He'll shrug it off because clearly Dan isn't sober, but no, there isn't anyone else.]

I suppose there is just nothing out there for either of us.

[He definitely caught the hypocrisy, and he has pointed it out, but not in an accusing way. He can be gentle. He wants Dan to feel understood, if only to lure him in his trap that he doesn't know what it is yet. Certainly it can't be friendship, Price already knows it's doomed.]

I wish you to find...Something, or someone as well.

[If anything, Dan is not unloveable like him. If only the man had some sort of will to live, he could easily restart. Price thinks he can talk him into regaining said will to live, but who knows. It's not that Dan won't trust him with it, he is crazy enough to go for it just to seek death, but why heal him when everytime someone Price likes heals they leave him?]

...But I understand if you don't want any attachments.

[He deliberately says this without ever clarifying that yes, he did get it that Dan wasn't trying to offer himself as that new special someone. He can still guilt trip him with 'I understand that you wouldn't like to get that involved with me' because seriously, who would ever love him?]

[Dan could say that he's actually been banging in the Easter Bunny for a few weeks now, but he's not as intoxicated as he was last time and he's more scared about people ratting out his relationship to the Jorgmund overlords than he is about them telling on him for using emotional manipulation.]

I really don't. [Dan chuckles at the idea, but it's a bit of a pained sound. Dan goes out of his way to torch most attachments that start developing, to sabotage anything he gets that could turn into a relationship or a routine or something that he could come to depend on.] One-night stands are about all that I'm good for.

[Which is what makes it strange that he's ended up in a long-term relationship with the pagan deity of spring in the Easter Bunny, but even thinking of it that way makes Dan feel nervous and out-of-his-skin. Valuing things is just a prelude to having them taken away, painfully.]

I mean, that I'd offer you.

[He's high, alright. Price deliberately ignores the last part.]

You're a good friend, and you can be reliable and trustworthy when you want to. You are skilled and potentially very useful in missions, you can save lives, even if you don't always succeed.

[A brief pause.]

I know you are afraid of losing your loved ones, and that you believe the solution to that is to avoid creating bonds altogether...But you are good for more than just one-night stands.

[He means it. If someone took away the pretty face from Price, nothing good would be left. If someone took away the pretty face from Dan, instead, all those qualities would remain.]

[It's funny - if Dan were to trace the path of how this conversation has gone, originally, it started with Dan being upset at Price for the events of the memory storm and coming to him for some kind of explanation that would settle that unhappiness. And yet, somehow, the way this has gone, Dan feels sheepish at Price complimenting him, as if Price is comforting him and somehow Dan's being selfish. He shakes his head.

He would have likely propositioned Price sober, too. It's a habit Dan defaults to, if it seems the other party might be receptive.]

I wasn't meaning to self-deprecate. Bad phrasing. Just to put it out there that one-night stands is all that's really good for me.

[He rakes his hand through his hair. He doesn't say and the Director doesn't seem good for you. He knows that won't be received well.]

Well. I reckon our little tiff is water under the bridge, then?

If you want it to be, yes, of course.

[Dan is the one that was upset, anyway. Sure, he was upset too in some form but when he is upset it's 'overreacting'. No wonder he's an emotionless monster, right?]

Well. I believe you should go back to your dorm, now. You seem...Unwell.

[He grimaces.]

Can you walk to your dorm on your own?

[OOC: If you want, could we take the build up for the ahem, further bonding to the Pride Party? Dan is high here and it's already complicated enough without consent issues lmao. Plus angsty Price is best Price AND you can have Dan dress in slutty costumes :P]

[It's not the answer he wants, but Price seems equally skilled at deflecting as Dan is. Dan wants to know how Price feels about it. He also can tell he's not going to get that today, because Price has left the ball in his court and locked the gate in terms of whether things are really okay between them.]

I'm fine. Been way worse.

[He gives Price a wink. He's buzzed; this is nothing compared to how he's trashed his mind and body in the past.]

I'll see you around, okay?

[OOC: for sure, I figured I'd just seed the idea here and see if they'd end up hooking up in a later thread!]

['Been worse' doesn't sound as reassuring as Dan thinks it does. It's clear that even as a survivor of everything he's been through he refuses to take proper care of himself. Price thinks he can take care of him, or at least that he is technically capable of doing so. He's tempted to do so, to trap him in some kind of emotional debt, but the powers make everything more difficult.

The reckless part of him that is so prominent lately suggests that he should try anyway, in fact overcoming the obstacle of Dan's powers would make it even more glorious. On the other hand the very reason why he's been so hostile is because he keeps failing at gaining control over people. He feels like his skills are vanishing.

He's also perfectly aware that Dan really gets around. Any offer Dan could make wouldn't mean anything, it's just what he does. It doesn't mean he thinks Price is beautiful in anyway. He's not beautiful anymore and he's not smart anymore, those two things were what granted him survival and he's just watching them turn into dust, wondering if it's going to be Jorgmund or the hires themselves to get rid of him without a second thought. Knowing this, he waves and gives Dan a sad smile.]

Alright. Take care.

[How he wishes the crash of the Mother Of Invention was fatal, right now! He would have died in his prime, with the Director and his beloved agents, without them knowing about the flaws in the system, without them wanting to abandon the family that Project Freelancer was. Just everyone dignified together in death. As they should be. But even if he killed everyone right now, it wouldn't be as sweet.]

Counselor Aiden Price

no subject

look I'm not saying he's gay but I'm saying he's obsessed. Which makes him at least LOOK gay.

sorry for vanishing for a month! idk where my brain went but i love Price so i kept this thread

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject