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I don't know! She started talking about how I'd lose you if I was dishonest and accused me of lying to you and to myself and that I was risking doing damage and it was just this total flip!

[ Adora pauses and there's a deep, deep breath. ]

I don't get her! I don't know why she'd say those things!

Because she sees you putting everyone else before you instead of letting yourself be even a little selfish.

[ A deep breath. ]

She was stupid to shove it in your face that way but she's worried about the things I worry about too. That you don't tell me how you really feel about stuff because you want to support me or because you think it'll make people happy. Even if makes you unhappy or hurts you or something.

I don't want to be selfish, Catra!

[ Adora stares at her communicator, feeling even more confused now. Now Catra's getting in on this? ]

I don't need to be. [ Doesn't want to be. She can't be. She has to give until she's completely empty or she's nothing. ]

I'll always be honest with you Catra. You know that...

You're such an idiot.

[ Catra sounds tired. Exasperated. Not quite angry. ]

All I've ever wanted is for you to tell me what you want. Not what you think other people want you to want.

I don't want to sit by and watch you burn up trying to keep everyone else warm.

I'm She-Ra, Catra. That means helping other people.

[ She doesn't want to hear this. She doesn't want to talk about this. Not when she's still stewing over her argument with Tenten. ]

And I want to help those people. I thought you'd - I don't know what I thought.

You can help other people and still be your own person. I don't care about She-Ra. I care about Adora!

I want you to be able to take something and not just give it all away.

Edited 2021-01-15 13:34 (UTC)

Well... I'm both.

[ She doesn't like this conversation. At all. ]

I can't really stop being who I am.

Adora, I'm never going to stop loving you.

[ Her voice cracks a little as she says it. Fuck. She's not gonna cry. Not gonna cry. ]

But I don't want to watch you just. Throw yourself away because you feel like you have to be the only one who sacrifices for other people. I want you to--to want things and ask for them! I'm scared. I'm scared I'm going to lose you because you have to sacrifice yourself to save the world or something. I'm scared I'm going to get left behind again.

I'm one of the only ones who can, though! And I can't turn my back on that responsibility! And Catra - Catra.

[ She trails off. ]

I need you. So badly. I'm terrified every time I go into a fight. I'm so scared. But I cant stop. I don't get to just... stop. And having you around makes me feel like I have something to come back to.

[ As opposed to just dying as the ultimate form of self-sacrifice. ]

Edited 2021-01-15 19:02 (UTC)

[ Gods. Catra wants to hold Adora now more than ever. To reassure her, to soothe her. Yet at the same time, she's so damn stubborn and stupid. Catra shifts a little, rustling as she listens to Adora. ]

Just... please, Adora. Don't be afraid of saying what you want. That's all I'm asking for. I want you to come back to me, no matter what happens and I want to be here for you. It just kills me knowing that you won't ever say the things you want--the things you need because you're so worried about others.

I do say what I want.

[ Adora sounds a little despairing. ]

Why don't any of you believe me?

Because I know you. Because I see how you act and what you do! I just...

I don't know.

I'm sorry. I'm just scared of losing you. Of hurting you because you think you need to give up something.

You're asking me to... do something and be someone I'm not.

[ Or that's how it feels to Adora, anyway. ]

I'll be fine. I promise.

I--

Okay.

[ She doesn't have the energy to keep arguing about this right now. She'll just bottle it up inside and try not to worry. Except she will worry, because it's Adora. ]

Fine.

I'll talk to you soon, OK? I need... I need to take a walk.

Yeah. Okay. Talk to you later.

Catra

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