I didn't— I didn't know what to do, I didn't know who I was, and then our birthday hit and I wasn't even a fucking twin anymore and— and then I was here and you were alive and....

[ She exhales, again, slow and deep but shuddering this time. This has been bottled up for a long, long time and she wants to bite her tongue, hold it in, because it's not the point, none of this is the point, but it spills out anyway. ]

Fuck. Fuck.