[ She swallows again, flinches at the iron taste and can't bring herself to look at him. If she looks at his face she'll remember him holding back tears, she'll remember his composure cracking, and goddammit she just wanted to focus on being happy for him and helping him this time, not this. ]

Because— because—

[ It's there on the tip of her bleeding tongue, but it's stuck. She squeezes tight with the hand he's holding. ]