AGENT WASHINGTON

[parannoyed]

● AGENT WASHINGTON
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[inner_child]

[ Theta's little head shakes. He doesn't. ]

I know I messed up when I said what South was thinking. Was that part of it?

[parannoyed]

No. No no, it's -

It's that in an uncertain situation, there's always a risk something could happen to us while you're in my head that causes damage. We don't know what would happen if the shock collars got activated, when my brain and my neural implants are a much bigger mess than North's.

[Even just the fact he'd obviously had past head trauma. They'd mentioned it when he was recovering, and he couldn't remember the concussive head shot Locus took that caused it, nor Emily fixing it up, so he has no clue how much his original implants are damaged or not.]

You might walk away from that. Epsilon was okay in the end. But I don't think I would be. Because I still have to work sometimes to keep myself and the Alpha's memories separate. And I still have trouble sometimes.

When Epsilon was gone, everything he remembered was left behind, which means if something hurt us, even if you're okay your memories might be left in my head. If I also got yours, too, and had to keep all three of us straight...

[There would be no "Washington" anymore. There's no way he could successfully keep all three of them pried apart. It'd be too hard to disentangle three people.]

I don't think I could. It's always been hard enough when it was just the two of us.  

[bothbarrels]

[ North looks at Wash sympathetically and reaches across the table to pat his shoulder. ]

We understand better, now. I'm glad you're not afraid of Theta.

[ At least, not because of Theta. ]

And Theta is feeling better about it, too.

[parannoyed]

It's also best for him, too, North. Epsilon's memories were the Alpha's memories. The things he wanted to forget, the things that were done to him that were so painful he splintered off his trust - Theta - to survive.

[Wash shakes his head.]

What happens if he gets exposed to those memories? At the very least it could be traumatizing.

[bothbarrels]

It could, yes, I understand.

You understand, right, Theta?

[ Theta nods. His body language is less closed-off, more open. ]

Yeah, I do.

In that vein...I'm here if you need to talk about any of that. I know in some ways it's ancient history, now, but... Just so you know.