goneawaycomms

...Catra, did you hit your head? We've had this conversation about us already.

...I love you. But that's not what I'm talking about.

Dummy.

Wait-

Who else do you like?

Tenten. I think.

[ It feels weird to say it out loud. Really weird. ]

But that doesn't change how I feel about you. At all. Ever.

Oh.

[ Deep breath, Adora. ]

Is this about that conversation we had earlier, then?

Yeah. Um.

I guess I've been thinking about it because I'm. You know. Worried about her. It's not the same way I feel about you. Like...

[ She gropes for words for a moment. Wonders if she should have done this in person. ]

I love you. I want to be with you forever. I would throw myself off a cliff for you. Take a bullet for you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You complete me. Every time you smile at me I think my heart skips a beat and my breath stops. I love you so, so much, Adora.

With her... I want to make her smile. Seeing her happy and stuff makes me happy too. I... Kind of want to be closer to her? I don't know how to describe it except that it's different. Temporary is the wrong word but it's the only one that feels like it fits. I don't know.

[ Adora sits and she listens and she's not sure what to say, not at first. There's a lot going on here and she has to think about how she feels. How she responds. To hear that Catra likes someone else? She doesn't quite know she feels. There's a twinge of jealous; the idea that someone else could be as important in Catra's life is hard to think about, even if Catra says that she's more important. She scrubs at her face for a moment. ]

So. You like her. And you think you love her. [ She's trying to talk through this. ]

Right. OK. So - what do you want to do about it? [ She fiddles with the hem of her shirt as she listens. ]

I love you, Catra. I'm just... trying to figure out how I feel.

That's why I'm talking to you!

[ It's snapped, harsher sounding than she wanted. ]

No matter what happens, you're always going to be the most important person in my life. Having you back is--I never thought it could happen. Knowing how you feel about this matters toe. You matter to me.

I would never do anything that would hurt you. Not again. Never again.

[ Adora sighs. ]

I know - I know you wouldn't. I'm just - this is still a lot to wrap my head around.

[ She takes another slow, deep breath. ]

What would you want to do about it?

I don't know. I want to know how you feel first.

I mean... I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried. We sort of talked about this a bit, I mean. And I worry a little about you... leaving again. But I also know that if you ever really, truly wanted to leave, whether because you weren't in love with me anymore or you wanted to just go...

[ Deep breath. ]

I wouldn't be able to stop you. And I couldn't. Because I don't have the right to keep you if you don't want to be.

[ She fiddles with her coat. ]

So... I guess... I'm still figuring out how I feel.

Adora...

[ Now she really wishes this was in person. So she could hug Adora. Touch her. Do something. ]

I don't want to go. I'm never going to want to go. I--

I promised I would look out for you and that I'd be here for you once. I'm not letting go of that promise ever again. It's just--I spent a long time hurting people. Maybe... maybe this is a chance for me to make someone happy for once. Even if it only lasts as long as we're stuck here.

[ She goes quiet for a long minute. ]

Then take your time. Maybe--um. I dunno. Maybe we should revisit the cake idea?

[ She laughs. It's awkward, but hey she doesn't have much else. ]

Edited 2020-12-14 03:49 (UTC)

[ There's a long, slow sigh from Adora's end. ]

I think... I think it's good that you want to help someone. Hearing you say that makes me happy, you know?

[ She laughs. Quiet and maybe a touch awkward. ]

I don't know. When you say you like her - do you want to be her girlfriend?

Maybe? I don't know? She's... cute, I guess? And I see a lot of myself in her. So. I want to make sure she knows she's worth it, you know?

[ For a long time she didn't think that she was worth anything. ]

I want to be close to her. Make her happy. If that involves being her girlfriend for a bit, then yeah. I guess so?

I think I need to think about this for a bit.

[ Another sigh and a half-groan. ]

Because I trust you. I just - I'm not sure how I feel about that right now.

Yeah, I get it. And... okay. Be selfish here, for me?

[ Catra fidgets on the other end, sighs. ]

Like if you think it'd make you unhappy in any way, just say no. I don't even know if I should do this but. I wanted you to know what's going on with me.

Thank you for telling me.

[ She means that, completely sincerely. Lovingly. ]

Give me a bit of time, OK?

Yeah. No rush, I think.

[ Sigh. How is she so lucky? ]

Love you.

ADORA

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